Magic cactus

[altariel]

Taken from glitterboy1

Ask the Magic Cactus a question I asked the magic cactus, Why? and THE MAGIC CACTUS SAID TO ME: It should be done using a monkey, a velvet suit, and lots of coal! reality subversion @ www.irreality.org.uk

Comments

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Here's what I got (cute image of cactus snipped out of space considerations):

I asked the magic cactus,

What is the meaning of life?

and THE MAGIC CACTUS SAID TO ME:

I think that this situation is a complex one. There are obviously more factors at work here than it would first seem. Turn over all those rocks that are in your path to see what lies beneath. Thats where you'll find what you are looking for....



*deep breaths*
*thinks calming thoughts*

Oh Magic Cactus,
You mean I'm going to have to turn over every rock on this damned planet before I'll know what I'm supposed to be doing here?

I guess that means the meaning of MY life is that I was meant to be a ditchdigger!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Ah, but the magic cactus told you only to turn over all those rocks that are in your path. What you need to do is never cross paths with a rock again. Bingo, meaning of life.

However, I think the magic cactus is right that the situation is a complex one. Perhaps monkeys and a velvet suit might help?

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Maybe I can dress the monkeys in velvet suits and send them out to turn over rocks until they find the stone under which the Meaning of Life is sitting?

Clearly, the Magic Cactus was right about the complexity of the situation! It's going to take a lot of monkeys...

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Maybe I can dress the monkeys in velvet suits and send them out to turn over rocks until they find the stone under which the Meaning of Life is sitting?

This is turning into some weird glam rock version of The Wizard of Oz...


It's going to take a lot of monkeys...

Fly, fly, my pretties!

(Surely they're just going to find a rock with FORTY-TWO scratched on it, anyway?)

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

(Surely they're just going to find a rock with FORTY-TWO scratched on it, anyway?)

Probably - but we won't know if we don't look! ;-)

[trixieleitz]

[scratches "42" on a rock, holds it up triumphantly]

OK, can we go home and eat chocolate now?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

can we go home and eat chocolate now?

That sounds like the meaning of life to me.

Try number 2!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I asked the magic cactus,

Is there a God?

and THE MAGIC CACTUS SAID TO ME:

Do not mock me, for i am the Magic Cactus of Irreality. Cross me and i will destroy you. bwhahahahaha. Oh right, the question. It's a complex and intricate system of mirrors.


*Ithilwen backs away from cactus VERY carefully!*

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

*Altariel inches away from cactus too*

I wonder if we could prescribe the cactus something? Or perhaps we ought to shoot it?

Re: Try number 2!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I think running away is the best option!

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Good plan. Because you can say one thing about succulents - they're not famed for their mobility.

Re: Try number 2!

[trixieleitz]

Maybe it's a triffid in disguise.

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

OK, now I'm freaked.

Re: Try number 2!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

It must be a triffid in disguise! It's managed to move from glitterboy1's LJ to yours, and now it's somehow found its way over to furius's LJ, too.

Yes,the Magic Cactus is going to destroy us all!

*whimper*

Hey, wait a minute. I think I may have some Roundup in the garage! Do you think herbicides can penetrate computer screens?

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Yes,the Magic Cactus is going to destroy us all!

*whimper*

Hey, wait a minute. I think I may have some Roundup in the garage! Do you think herbicides can penetrate computer screens?

I think at this stage anything's worth a go.

And then I'm going to make you a nice hot cup of tea!

Re: Try number 2!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I'll blast away with the Roundup, then, and let the hospital's IT Department deal with the aftermath!

Die, cactus, die! *spray, spray, spray*

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Die, cactus, die! *spray, spray, spray*

My god, no...! It's... it's... GROWING!

Re: Try number 2!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

That's it, then. We're doomed.

*waits patiently to be devoured by the evil Magic Cactus of Irreality*

Re: Try number 2!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Never give up! Never surrender!

Here, catch this chainsaw.