Rubbish

[altariel]

Two days ago the roof of our extension became home to an empty cigarette packet. By this afternoon, two apple cores and a Fanta bottle lid had moved in. Is there some weird migration in progress? Or have our new and quite noisy neighbours found a new bin? The mysteries of modern suburban life.

Comments

[hafren.livejournal.com]

You don't have a resident jackdaw?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Don't they go for shiny things?

[hafren.livejournal.com]

Possibly bottle tops and ciggie packets could have shiny bits?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Apple cores?

[hafren.livejournal.com]

Luminous maggots....

[altariel.livejournal.com]

:-D

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

A resident jackdaw with a very unhealthy lifestyle :)

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Eating the apples to make up for all the cigarettes!

[mgkellner.livejournal.com]

You may recall that several years ago, I was trying to sell you on the virtues of home ownership. Houses are only going to get more expensive, and as you age, your tolerance for intolerable people wanes.

Real estate one of the best features of capitalism. No middle class adult should be without it.

mk

[altariel.livejournal.com]

If you have £200,000 lying around, I'll gladly invest it in property for you :-)

[kalypso-v.livejournal.com]

You'd need more than that to have neighbours distant enough to be unable to dump the rubbish on your roof, wouldn't you? I'm yards from anyone, and I still get offerings left on or in my wall/fence/flowerbeds/wheelie-bin-while-it's-out-for-emptying. To be fair, I don't blame the neighbours for those, it's passers by. I'm still trying to work out who the neighbour is who keeps wheeling my garden rubbish bin back on to my property - it ain't the binmen, I look out of the window and see they've left it on the pavement, half an hour later it's inside my gate.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

We get a fair bit of rubbish tossed over the wall; mostly, I think, because the garden is already a tip, so that's my own fault. Our next-door neighbour pulls our bin up and down an awful lot, I feel terribly guilty about it, particularly as they are so nice about us never doing the garden and making the street look a mess.

[iainjcoleman.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see you haven't been keeping abreast of the latest developments in Cambridge City Council's waste management strategy.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I must take it up with a passing councillor.

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

You, or possibly Mr A, have started sleep-fag-smoking-apple-eating-Fanta-drinking?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Curses! You have found out about our midnight feasts!

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Ha! I'm going to wake up the rest of the dormy and we will crash your feast, and wake up any excitable French mistresses in the vicinity.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

You and your treeks!

Here is what you do

[(Anonymous)]

Get a box. Gather the offending materials in them, and add some gutter-clogging leaves for good measure since you're up there anyway. Wrap the box in pretty paper and place it upon the doorstep of the offending neighbors.

When they scream and throw the mouldering contents out the window, call the police or superintendent or both and report them for dropping dangerous and unsanitary contents out of their window.

Sit back and watch with glee as the neighbors are instructed in the proper use of designated trash receptacles to the tune of a hefty fine.

It worked for the idiots living over our freshman dorm at any rate.

Dwim

Re: Here is what you do

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Ooh you're sneaky! I was just going to nip out onto the roof and kick everything back over into their garden.

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Don't you know - that's recycling! Your neighbors are using rubbish to add a new layer of insulation to your extension's roof. I'm sure they're waiting for you to express appropriate gratitude. (Perhaps a stinkbomb?)

[altariel.livejournal.com]

My god, you're right! Really I should help them in their cause of helping the environment and cut their electricity.

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! I'm sure they'll be grateful for your assistance in the cuase.