Altariel's Continuing War of Words on Cambridge Cyclists

[altariel]

There's a reason we call them pedestrian crossings, mulch brain!

Too late. He's long gone, down the pavement, towards town. I shall just scream into the void instead.

Comments

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you need to start carrying caltrops in your pockets, to toss out in front of these mad cyclists!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

What I would really like is some kind of device that would allow me to extend razor-sharp rotating blades from my ankles - like the bad guys have on their car in Grease!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

How about one of Larry Niven's variable swords instead? They have a monofilament blade so fine that it's practically invisible to the naked eye - you could step off the path as though you were yielding right of way gracefully, and just hold it out neck-high as the cyclist approaches - and solve the problem permanently. Of course, all that blood on the pavement might be a bit messy, and seeing a head bouncing into the street might upset a few people - but I bet after a few such "incidents", the Cambridge cyclists would start to get the message!

Re:

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Ooh yes, an excellent solution. What I like best about it is that beheading is entirely commensurate with the crime committed ;)

Altariel, Phantom Guillotinist of Old Cambridge Town