Add 4 SKILL points

[altariel]

A friend came round for dinner last night, and we reminisced about the Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks which had sunk up many hours of our childhoods, and which are sitting on the bookshelf by the kitchen table (where most of my children's books are currently stacked). The Warlock of Firetop Mountain? Deathtrap Dungeon? You remember. We ended up going through The Shamutanti Hills, which is the first one of Steve Jackson's Sorcery series. Ee, we made our own fun!

I played with these books constantly as a kid. I didn't so much play the games - which I didn't find all that much fun, too much tedious dice-throwing and whatnot - and instead spent long hours drawing illustrated maps. Does that count as fanfic?

I also read the start of Pestilence, by Edward Jarvis, which the_wild_iris has promised me is one of the worst books ever written (the other being Maggots by Edward Jarvis 'author of Pestilence' - yes, it says that on the cover). Judging from just the opening two pages, Mr Jarvis has a very strong claim. Deduct 3 STAMINA points.

Comments

[cdybedahl.livejournal.com]

Is it worse than John Norman's Gor novels?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the Gor novels, but here is a sample from the start of Pestilence. I leave the comparisons to you:

The four children ran down the terraced steps towards the newly-completed, but as yet still-empty, sunken swimming-pool in the garden of the big house nestling in the rich heartland of the Surrey stockbroker belt.

'There you are,' said 13-year-old Jamie proudly to his school friend as they approached. 'Just look at that. Isn't it super, Swatters? Cost the guvnor a fortune, it did, and it's the best that money can buy. A real smasher: made of reinforced concrete all through, it is, with the very lates filtration and heating system, automatic water-level control, the lot [...]'

'Cor', breathed Swatters admiringly.

[catalyst42.livejournal.com]

Snort. Choke. Bwahahahaha.

I like the loving technical description of the funkyness of the pool. Sounds like it's a cut and paste from a brochure.

And there I was thinking that Anne Rice was the worst writing I'd read (with the exception of Barbara Cartland, but that was in my misspent youth).

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I didn't even type up the bit with the headless Persian cat, Tibby.

[glitterboy1.livejournal.com]

*splutter*

Please don't say things like that while I'm eating!! There was nearly a very nasty incident involving my dinner and my notebook.

That quotation is...unbelievable.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Oops! Sorry!

[cdybedahl.livejournal.com]

The language may be slightly worse, but on the other hand I see no evidence of Jarvik-style Manly Men, "independent" women who discover that what they have been secretly longing for all their lives is to be enslaved by a Manly Man, or implausible bondage-porn scenes during which at least one of the participants suddenly delivers a long political speech. So possibly worse in a "damn, this is unreadable" way but not worse in a "dear Goddess, what the fuck is this?!" way.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I've only managed the first two pages, so all those things might yet appear.


implausible bondage-porn scenes during which at least one of the participants suddenly delivers a long political speech

Definitely a turn-on.

[snowgrouse.livejournal.com]

Is it as bad as A Terrible Novel? The descriptions sound just about as bad as "the wars on the moons of Uranus"... *chortle*

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Oh god, how did I manage to forget that one? I still have quite a bit of Pestilence to go (and the whole of Maggots), so I'll get back to you on that one!

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

My younger brother had the whole Steve Jackson series too. I didn't play the game either, but I loved looking at the illustrations and reading the plotty snippets straight through from front to back. They were very surrealist books when read that way.

That quotation was at least educational; I had no idea there was any such as thing as "the Surrey stockbroker belt".

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I loved the illustrations too. The game itself was pretty samey from book to book once you'd played it a couple of times, but they were always fun to map out.


"the Surrey stockbroker belt"

Welcome to the British class system ;-)