Vague Paranoia

[altariel]

Thanks to echoriath for drawing my attention to this wonderfully daft story:

The site Preparing for Emergencies (which parodies this government site) has received an email requesting the site be taken down:

"We run the Government website for the Preparing for Emergencies public information campaign, on www.preparingforemergencies.gov.uk, and are very concerned that the material on your site will confuse people about the sensitive advice and information that we are giving to the public.

This is a very is [sic] serious campaign that should not be trivialised. In the interests of helping people to cope in the event of a crisis or a disaster we would ask that you to take down the site, immediately, and not put it up again in another guise."

Personally I'm disgusted-of-Tunbridge-Wells that the government site gives me NO information on how to survive a zombie attack. Not everyone has seen Sean of the Dead! Preparing for Emergencies is clearly fulfilling a need!

Comments

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I bet the government site doesn't say anything about what do do in the event of a Martian Invasion, either. Shocking! Do they expect every household to have a copy of The War of the Worlds sitting on their bookshelf?

What use is a "preparing for emergencies" website if it doesn't cover every conceivable (and a few inconceivable) crises?

[altariel.livejournal.com]

It's a disgrace. I bet they're secretly in league with the zombies and the Martians, and keeping this information away from us on purpose. Perhaps they are already among us!

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Clearly the enemy is not only among us, but is actually running the governments of the First World democracies. I mean - just LOOK at Bush and his underlings! How can anyone possibly mistake them for humans? They've put on a very clever disguise, but Bush's vacant stare clearly marks him as a zombie. And Cheney's and Ashcroft's strange beliefs are positive proof that neither of them is native to planet Earth.

I bet if you look closely at your government's officals, you'll spot zombies and Martians there, too.

It's a good thing those brave souls put up that website to inform people of how to defend hemselves against the REAL dangers, or we'd all be doomed, wasting our energies preparing for bomb explosions and weaponized smallpox outbreaks rather than zombie attacks!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Hmm... it's been said that the Leader of the Opposition has something of the night about him. And I've often wondered which planet Mr. Blair is from...

[matildabj.livejournal.com]

From the site:

You will also be able to order copies of the booklet in audio tape, large print, and Braille formats. We wouldn't have bothered, but Blunkett insisted.

Made me ROFL at the lack of PC-ness. And because I work in an office next to a *really* irritating talking lift.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Ooh those talking lifts creep me out.

[spacefall.livejournal.com]

Talking lifts are your *friends*!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

I am loved! I am cared for!

[kathyh]

I think I'm confused about which is real and which is parody.

Move away from the immediate source of danger

But wait for the emergency services to arrive and examine you and, if necessary, decontaminate you

This could confuse a stupid person...

And I'm pleased to know I'm not the only person that uses their smoke alarm to tell whether their bacon's cooked or not!

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Our smoke alarm at college used to stop if you shouted. Most usually it was, "Stop that #@&£$! racket!!"

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Do you think they gave a cease-and-desist order to Mr Cholmondeley Warner too?

BTW, and with all their protesting too much, does this sound like the slippery slope towards government-information slash?

PS Why is everyone so concerned about Martians, but not giving a damn about the Venusians? Don't you realise that all this focus on Martians is just a facade created by those cunning beings from Venus. [wanders off to write a government information/self-help booklet called Aliens are from Mars and Venus]

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Do you think they gave a cease-and-desist order to Mr Cholmondeley Warner too?

*snort!* "L is for Labour! L is for Lice!"

And you're right about the Venusians - they're obviously the sneakiest of the lot.

[altariel.livejournal.com]

:-D

[murasaki99.livejournal.com]

They didn't mention the threat from the Andromedians! And what about the mind-control rays coming from all the tall buildings in the US (and probably the UK, too) that tells everyone to vote Republican?? you're supposed to always wear a tin foil hat to protect your brain from the insidious mind-control rays. This site http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html has instructions on how to make your own foil hat to protect your brain. ^_^

[altariel.livejournal.com]

Why do our governments not make this tinfoil information available?!? Do they *want* us to fall under the sway of evil Andromedans?!?