I liked these lines greatly, especially the last clause:
You have had my brother, and you have his son, and I have borne it with what grace I can find within me. All of it you can have, and gladly – but you shall not have the pieces of my heart.
And the end line was beautiful, and heartbreaking, too.
The cup was beginning to run dry; he found very little left in him to give.
It reminded me of Little Boy Lost by Marghanita Laski. I was wondering if that was in your mind at all.
About the only problem I have with it is that the name "Brand" is one of those over-used fantasy names that I dislike. But that's a personal reaction, and not to do with your writing. I don't know if it's used elsewhere in Tolkien.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2005-06-30 04:03 am (UTC)That's very lovely.
I liked these lines greatly, especially the last clause:
You have had my brother, and you have his son, and I have borne it with what grace I can find within me. All of it you can have, and gladly – but you shall not have the pieces of my heart.
And the end line was beautiful, and heartbreaking, too.
The cup was beginning to run dry; he found very little left in him to give.
It reminded me of Little Boy Lost by Marghanita Laski. I was wondering if that was in your mind at all.
About the only problem I have with it is that the name "Brand" is one of those over-used fantasy names that I dislike. But that's a personal reaction, and not to do with your writing. I don't know if it's used elsewhere in Tolkien.