Or the line that made me decide I prefer the first translation, although my intuition says the second one is closer to the original (is the sun still shining in the west, in contrast with the death walking in the east, or not? I think yes.):
Already death is chalking doors with crosses
against
But here the white one already chalks crosses on the houses
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2004-10-16 07:13 am (UTC)Already death is chalking doors with crosses
against
But here the white one already chalks crosses on the houses
The second one has no rhythm.