what I'm envisioning is the most godawful party favor spinning noisemaker with pink wings painted on it...

Heh, more tasteful - just a circle of cardboard with the names of the Valar and Maiar on, pinned on with one of those little pins that bend backwards (god, this is hard to describe!).


What would it take to drive you mad so I don't have to do this by myself?

Tenure?